• Melissa McGrath

There are no Coincidences

Updated: Feb 25

I have often wondered over time, lamented the thought that either a) there are no coincidences in life and or b) we unknowingly manifest where we are meant to be and then a higher power than us makes that happen. And for the record, when I mean higher power I refer to whatever it is that you have a belief in. For some it is the universe, for some a religious belief and for others again simply their own intuition.

This is a deeply personal addition to my Blog, and longer than what the normal articles are. Today, December 17th warrants my extra time. And where would be the trust of a therapist that does not reveal elements of themselves?

The older I get the more I believe that there are no coincidences. My list is endless and I believe if you thought about it yours might be too. At the risk of creating boredom I will share just a few to explain what I mean:

As a teenager I knew I could not stay in the small country town just outside of Canberra of which I grew up. It seemed to hold no excitement, no adventure, no element of progress for me. I always knew something would have me leave. Leave family, friends, everything. I met my to be husband of 20 years at 21 years of age as he had relocated there for work. Two years later we were married and off we went as his career meant another move away. We were meant to meet. Then 7 years later on a caravan holiday around the country with two young children on board, we went through the seaside townships of the far north coast of NSW, 1000km from home on the south coast. One of these townships was Cabarita Beach. I looked around, out from the window of the car passing through and thought ‘I’m going to live here one day'. There is something here for me’. 20 years later we moved north after my husband obtained a promotion in that part of the State. That was to mean working within 30 min of guess where - Cabarita Beach. We did not live there initially but later after our separation, I did indeed end up there. I have a few more of these, some of them whereby the decision that led me there posed no sense at the time, whether it be a job or any other number of things. However I went with it knowing it was right, and it always ended up being so. There are no coincidences.

I can even cite my eldest son of whom took Drama as a Year 12 subject because the class would be made up of all girls apart from him. He found that a wonderful prospect to be apart of over the next two years, God bless his cotton socks. For his self written performance, Education Board assessors awarded him a mark in the top 10% of the State. He is now a rising movie producer in Australia with his own company and four movies and a documentary under his belt. Albeit until he had thoughts of joining that drama class (for untoward reasons) he was going to be studying sports science. Coincidence that he was led to acting instead? I don’t think so.

Why am I writing this contemplation today, is due to yesterday’s horrendous incident in the north of Tasmania whereby 5 young lives are no longer with us. Through the innocent measure by the school to provide some fun to the last day, endless people’s lives have been changed forever. I have personally shed many a tears over the hours. It is likely that it is no coincidence that I am heading there to live in the next few months. Firstly I am by previous profession a teacher, secondly only 10 days ago I accepted what was am unexpected offer of a 2 day per week position at a private College, 10 minutes drive from the tragedy. I commence in February.

When I looked at the position online 3 weeks ago, my first thoughts were ‘wow’. The opportunity to take a Year 11 & 12 class through a unit of English very close to my heart. The study of novels. A second unit is work readiness. Two days per week in order to remain within the field of teaching, leaving 3 days for my therapy clients; to oversee a senior class which is an exciting challenge; and a move to a beautiful part of the State.

Ten days or so later the tragedy making world news today, hit the primary school 11 min drive from the College where I will be. This summer I had planned to focus on further learning in the area of dealing with trauma. I connected with a mentor and one of the leading practitioners in Australia in the field of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Helen Mitas. She has a different level of hypnosis knowledge. To me she wrote “I don’t think there is any coincidence that you are going there at all. That’s exactly why you are going there .... to shine your light where it’s needed most . I’ve been told the same thing about where I’m heading. No coincidences ❤️🙏“ she wrote.

(she had decided recently to move to Adelaide from Melbourne after for the longest time preferring the Gold Coast.)

Now I’m not writing this blog as an self indulgent spiel as that isn’t my style, but Helen (Eleni) had me thinking. Why did a 2 day pw position in a field of employment I rarely visit anymore, appear to me located at the opposite end of the State? Why was I the successful applicant over so many career teachers when my profession and first love is now well entrenched in Hypnotherapy? You see the thing is I have learnt not to put too much thought into what others might question, and go with whatever the Universe has planned for me. I am meant to be in Devonport next year as much as I love Hobart. That is just obvious to me without it ever having been in the plans. Who knows if there are casualties, individuals surrounding the tragedy that may access my services or not, but I will leave you with some food for thought. Have you been drawn to a particular job, a holiday, a residential move, a friendship base etc without knowing why that is happening? Bigger question, have you embraced it or ignored it? If the latter, why do you think you did? Fear, or a pre-conditioned mindset that you should always take a safe and sensible route in life (whatever that is).

Whatever your reasons, try examining it a little. Such a process might serve you well when future opportunities arise, when moments occur that touch you in some way, plans that are drawing you in. Please consider trusting that the Universe has a plan for you and that it isn’t random the fact that a particular path is presenting itself. Be brave and try if you cannot to fall into the trap of prior learnt behaviour that may limit your progress. As where you happiness may lie might well be in conflict with what you perceive as common sense at that particular moment. And that’s Ok. More than Ok.

* As a footnote,

if you are currently suffering from anxiety, trauma or an unexpected loss or sadness please don’t hesitate to reach out. I always have time for an impromptu phone consult. If not myself, please turn to family, friends or other practitioners but don’t suffer alone. If at some time you wish to explore the concept of the Laws of Attraction or have an interest in changing your mindset in order to move forward, I am happy to discuss with you the pathways and methodologies available.


# traumasupport #grief #movingforward #anxiety

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